when my stomach starts growling i want a crappy snack. reaching for the pirates's booty yesterday really got me to thinking about something for the rest of the night: being who we are vs. wanting to be someone we are not. i would like to be the person who grabs a more nutritional snack: an apple with some peanut butter, some carrots and celery, something less "bad for me".
but how long should we struggle with who we are vs. who we want to be. i'm 32. shouldn't i just accept my pirate's booty-ness? shouldn't i let the celery sticks and water snack idea fall by the wayside already?
i might need to admit publicly on some level that i'd like to continue down the path of loving myself for who i am, being less hard on myself for all of the things i SHOULD do, etc. i think we all must struggle with this with different topics. i sense that our generation may be harder on ourselves than our parents were. for example, our generation seems pretty apologetic that we allow our children watch TV. i'm a product of the generation that was mostly raised on TV and i turned out just finr- or was that just me? we were watching Three's Company and Married with Children for crying out loud...
i digress.
i'm not really sure what the point of this is. i just wanted to get it off my chest. maybe other people feel the same way. i just don't want to look back on these years as wasted on wanting to be someone i am not; i want to continue learning how to fully embrace me.
3 comments:
Um, could you meet me at Panera so we could have a three hour conversation about this topic? Yeah, I think that would be nice.
I agree, though. It's a sickness of this day. . . they "must" be better because they do this or do that and I do that or this. Ugh. It's sick. If only. . .we could embrace the Me as Me. . . what a wonderful world it would be.
Um. I'd like to be part of that conversation with you and Summer.
I had a breakdown last night about this I've-had-two-babies-in-two-years body. I wasn't sad... I was pissed.
This body just doesn't feel like it belongs to me. But it IS me. And it's mine. And I know I'm supposed to embrace it and love it, blah, blah, blah - but how do I do that when I can't fit into any of my pants?
And then... how do I not feel SO GUILTY when I do "slip" and have [gasp] CAKE.
I've been working on a post about this for a while... you might have just kicked me in the pants.
First, I have never heard of Pirate Booty and I will be googling this after I leave a comment because it makes me smile!!
Second, you are SO right. It is so hard to embrace ourselves as who we are as we always seem to compare to others or think we should be a certain way....and we feel SO much guilt when we think we have "let ourselves down". This happens more times then it should and it is something I would love to change about MYSELF, it is just so hard.
I totally hear you on this.
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