Thursday, April 19, 2012

another true gem.

well, once again, i'm willing to go out on a limb to say that paying to have an online dating profile is totally satisfying not because i'm getting any dating action from the whole deal. at all. i mean, crickets chirping.

but a week or 2 ago, this man emailed me (from Blacksburg - 2+ hours away, mind you):
Does it really have to be someone within 25 miles of Charlottesville?

to which i responded simply: yes, it does. i travel for work and don't really think it's ideal for me to add another leg of travel to my life. good luck! (literally that is what i said)

oh, no. he couldn't let this go. i remind you, again, that i have said virtually nothing to him apart from "no thank you, good luck".

could he let it go? were we going to run into each other, EVER?!? no. another quick side-note before you keep reading: i have signed my name (spelled M-A-L-I-S-S-A; yes, i know that change of vowel can be SUPER DUPER tricky) in an email and point out ing my profile that it is in fact spelled M-A-L-I-S-S-A...

but, he persists:
Malissa, or is it Melissa? Not that I don't think you know how to spell your own name, but I've never heard of anyone by the name of Malissa before.

I still want a chance from you! You don't have to do anymore traveling than you already do! I would come to Charlottesville to meet you somewhere. We could meet somewhere for dinner or we could walk around a mall and talk or take a walk outside if it's nice enough. Whathever you're most comfortable with. If we like each other enough to continue, I can come there to see you everytime! I'm usually free on weekends. I'd come to Charlottesville almost every Saturday and spend the day with you and go back home that night and if it's truly meant to be, one of us will relocate. Will you please reconsider? My name is Paul by the way.

come on, guy....you're killing me!! i was polite, said "no" and you don't EVEN KNOW ME!! you're acting like my 6th grade boyfriend. but HE WAS IN 6th GRADE! you're supposedly grown. and obviously so desperate. and, my favorite part, who WALKS AROUND THE MALL?! UGH!!

if you must know, i wrote back again saying "thank you for your email. i do stand by my choice to keep the dating local. good luck."

oh, Paul. truly. good luck to you. you need it.

4 comments:

kristy said...

Ooh, I definitely got the creepy vibe from his email. I'm surprised he didn't explain what your wedding would end up looking like.

These stories are surely good ones. Wow.

Abbe said...

as an online dating veteran, i can TOTALLY totally empathize w/ the emails you're getting. the whole thing is a bit fraught with peril... and wackos. but the comedic value in most of it? pretty unbeatable. as long as you can keep laughing, enjoy the adventure! :)

Wrestling Kitties said...

WOW!

I agree with Kristy, I was wondering if he was going to start talking about your wedding!! CRAZY.

These are entertaining :)

Unknown said...

Oh my word. Miss, you are such a (patient) trooper. Wow. This guy is, well, something.

Thought, I'm thinking one date with him would definitely make great fodder (as you call it) for the blog for weeks, or months to come.