on moms.

funny picture...couple of years old. i think we were all laughing at something. it's what we do. 

mother's day 2012 feels....different.  i don't know if this is why, but i think it's a sign of age, wisdom and maturity.  i rarely think that this is why i feel any certain way (i mean, i barely "feel 33" most of the time, let alone feeling like wise is a word to describe myself. i digress...).  

i woke up this morning in an immediately reflective mood.  i faced my normal 2-hour Sunday drive to work where i feel like i mother 70 kids at a time at my boarding school.  yes, the door tag on my office reads Director of College Counseling, but it's different at boarding school.  my heart kind of ached for all these mothers who have their kids far away from them.  i vowed to be more patient today, as sometimes i can have a short fuse with these deviant darlings.  and, overall, i think i did a great job.  

more than anything, i feel grateful today.  thankful that i've worked to get to a place of love and peace with my own mom and who she is and all she has done for me over my lifetime. the sacrifices she made constantly and the fact that she did the best she could with what she had.  always.  my mom will always make sure that i'm okay and that i have what i need and i know she would do anything for me.  

also, i'm deeply thankful for all of the "surrogate mothers" that were placed in my life along the way.  one of the first ones is pictured above from when i went off to college.  she took care of me and checks on me still to this day, and i call her "MOTH" ("mother of the heart").  she is funny, wise, patient, loving and thoughtful.  my life would not be the same without her.  

there were "moms" in high school, my friend Kristy shared her mom in college, and my "mom" in Florida that my friend Rachel shared with me.  even now where i live part-time while i'm at work, my friend Mary is forever doing small things like putting a flower by my bed or making sure i'm taking my vitamins.  a mother to me? not really, but she is a friend and caretaker and for this i am blessed.  

i think the reason i feel "wise" is because part of being a responsible and healthy, in my opinion, adult is to forgive what we felt like our parents and biological families lacked and accept and embrace all that we have been given to fill our lives completely.  

i realized this weekend when one of my grown friend's parents were in town what it means to be a mom.  he is 33 years old...a total grown up for all intents and purposes.  he was doing a simple job of being the MC of a cultural event, making announcements and the like.  his dad was taking photos of him every time he introduced an act or made an announcement and i can't imagine that these pictures of him a blue polo and khakis will be anything worthy of an art gallery or even being placed in a picture frame.  but his parents showed up, they were proud and happy to be in his presence and it made my whole heart smile.  i hope that one day i am lucky enough to face the challenges and joys of raising kids.  i know that i'll have an entire arsenal of people and memories backing me the entire way.