Wednesday, July 25, 2012

if i had a crystal ball...

i've never really wanted a crystal ball.  never been to have my tarot cards or palms read.  i really don't care about what is "in the cards for me".  i know it will all turn out okay and just as it should. 

i have this thing that i remind myself of, deep down inside: "if someone would have told you 6 months ago, or one year ago, or 5 years ago what it would all look like now, you would have never believed it". 

and i know that as TRUTH in my mind and heart. 

sometimes things don't look clear.  and the results of any given thing or area of life are unclear.  it takes faith and trust that it really will all turn out the way it's supposed to. 

but, being the "normal" (what does that mean, anyway?) human that i am, i question things in life.  i question timing.  i question the things that i want that i don't yet have that are real and deep and, though out of my control, what i want most out of this life.  a family,  a partner, a home that is mine and lived in and permanent and safe.  i think all of these things are not out of the realm of possibility for most people to want - eventually.  and eventually most people get there.  whether by a straight line (not usually), a windy road (more often, than not) or some twisted and odd unexpected journey of ups and downs. 

today though, i wish someone could just give me one true glimpse and say "you WILL have those things that you want" and i would know that they somehow lived into the future and came back to tell me that it would all work out just as it should.  but, for now, i'll just trust and hope and have faith and know deep down that even if they told me, i wouldn't be able to dream it up half as good as the way it actually goes. 

2 comments:

Wrestling Kitties said...

There are so many times I too wish I could look in a crystal ball and peek at what the future holds. Am I/we on the right path? How long before XYZ happens? I think that is natural, especially when you have an idea of certain things you would like in your life and you are patiently wondering when they will happen to you.

The last line is so true “i'll just trust and hope and have faith and know deep down that even if they told me, i wouldn't be able to dream it up half as good as the way it actually goes.”

That is a good way to think about it and even though we all want a glimmer into our future, part of the excitement and beauty of it all is not knowing and being completely blown away when it does happen.

Hang in there. Those things that you want will come to you!

Like you said, it does turn out the way it is supposed. I believe that now in my life more than ever (in fact I use to have a hard time believing that). Two years ago pretty much everything was up in the air and filled with so much uncertainty….but looking back now I can’t imagine it happening any different or at a different time in my life! :)

Unknown said...

Oh Friend. . . it's posts like these that make me wish we were sitting face to face at Panera, my living room, or heck. . anywhere we could just talk.

I hope you are okay. . .